Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Response: The Smiths

Call video posted for easier access.

My knee-jerk response to the call is this:
In Rock Paper Scissors fashion, I will post a verbal/visual response to the audio call, but PLEASE watch this music video. It kills me. Born To Die pumps from the same heart as this The Smiths song.

Response: Still from the Born to Die video

Why this response?

God, I've felt these words from The Smiths. I've lived them. I don't want to elaborate too intimately right now, but after living hell... these words are the perfect explanation:
Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
And they're young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
Anymore

And then I've felt this way:
And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

But I can't stand the idea of still being alive or of knowing the consequent pain of others. Even when I feel like no one would even care or no one should even care if I was gone, I think of this. This still from the Lana Del Ray video captures a feeling I've never known how to express. I'd rather carry this hell inside of me than let anyone take a piece of it. I hate it. But it's like radioactive material: If I try to destroy by destroying myself, it will spread. I have to carry this.

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